Several years ago I met an interesting guy in Palm Springs, California named Fred Divine. Fred is the Jewish version of Sylvester Stallone. I mean if you put them in the same room it would be hard to tell them apart.
I happened to mention to Fred that I was going to join a local gym and firm up my flabby muscles. He smiled and said “You don’t have to join a gym, just come over to my house this Tuesday and we can work out in my gym.” Un benownst to me Fred was a serious world-class body builder.
I can still remember how I felt after that first workout. Every muscle in my body cried out in pain and I definitely didn't want to go back. I discovered that lifting weights and doing calisthenics was HARD work! Two days later Fred and I were suppose to meet at his house for our second workout. I sheepishly showed up and told Fred I just wasn’t up to this and told him I was going to quit. He looked at me with a knowing smile, flexed his right bicep and said, “Stevie, do you think this….” pointing to his flexed bicep, “….just happened overnight? It happened over many days, weeks months and years of serious training. After my first workout I felt the same way you did, I was in pain and discouraged. But I knew if I ever wanted to be successful I had to stay with it.” We talked about it late into the night and after a little push from him, okay a BIG push, we continued with the workouts.
Literally, 120 days from my first workout I saw tremendous results. Through hard work and commitment I was on my way to achieving a goal that had been out of my reach for most of my adult life. The year I spent working out with Fred taught me a lot about commitment, hard work and dedication.
It’s funny but my first experience with daily dovening was very similar to my initial weight lifting experience. I can remember walking into the Chabad shul in Wilmington, Delaware and feeling very nervous and out of place. I literally had forgotten just about everything I had learned for my Bar Mitzvah, thirty years before. I was terribly frustrated and embarrassed because:
· I couldn’t keep up
· I got hopeless lost during the service and many times had no idea where we were in the Siddur
· I had no clue when to stand up and when to sit down.
I vividly remember thinking, “I am never going to be able to learn this stuff.” Everyone around me was zipping along, singing tunes I’d never heard before, standing up, sitting down and turning pages at what seemed like the speed of light. I guess Rabbi Vogel could see the look of frustration on my face. During the Shabbos Kiddush he asked me what was wrong and I told him I felt embarrassed and humiliated because I couldn’t keep up. I told him the guys were finished with the Alenu long before I was half way through. I guess he could tell I was ready to walk out and never come back. I mean I was forty three years old but I felt like I was an eight year old surrounded by knowledgeable adults.
He said, “Most of the people here felt exactly like you do when they first began dovening. There is only one person here that has been dovening his whole life. And besides, finishing last means you're really dovening. Yes, you should aspire to be fluent, and that will come with time. But what really counts in Hashem's eyes is that your standing in prayer and devotion, not how many pages you've turned. Now lets go have some of the Rebbetzin's Shabbos Kugel. It will make you feel better!”
Like my friend Fred, so many years before, Rabbi Vogel was absolutely right. It took discipline, dedication, desire and time to make significant progress and reach a certain comfort level in Shul. But in the end it was well worth the effort. Today I love going to Shul. I still can’t finish before most of the gentleman dovening but today it doesn’t matter. Every Chabad Shul I visit is filled with energy, joy and love. It doesn’t matter if you finish first or last, the important thing is being there. In this age of instant gratification many people don’t want to invest the time to learn and educate themselves. In many cases they would rather quit than admit their own ignorance.
The key is to recognize, admit and embrace one’s own lack of knowledge. I mean everyone is ignorant until someone takes the time to educate them. And that my friends is what makes Chabad such a wonderful organization. They welcome you with open arms and do not burden you with expectations or demands. If you want to learn to say a bracha over bread, fine, they’ll show you. If you want to participate in a traditional Shabbos meal, they will invite you. And if you want to learn to put on Teffilin, doven and/or learn Torah, they’re more than willing to accommodate you.
Their patience, love and support are what make them stand out like a beacon in a troubled world. All you have to bring to the table is a desire to open yourself up and ask for help. And unlike the weight lifting program I was on so many years ago, the lessons and experiences you learn at Chabad will not disappear if you go on vacation. These lessons gladden your heart, your Neshoma (your soul) and your spirit forever. And just between you and me, the Shabbos Kugel is unbelievable!
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