If you've never experienced a Simchas Torah celebration at a Chabad center, then you’ve missed one of the great experiences in life. Singing, dancing with the Torah and a little L’Chaim are just a few of the activities that make each Simchas Torah a holiday to remember.
It is a tradition at Chabad of Delaware for each participant to make a number of mitzvah pledges during the course of the evenings festivities. During this year's celebration I pledged to wear tzitzit a.k.a. a Tallis Cotton, a mini Tallis that an observant Jewish man wears under his shirt, every Shabbos.
This was a big step for me since traditionally, observant Jews loop the fringes of the Tallis under the ends of their shirt and let them hang from their waist alongside their pant legs. I was very eager to fulfill the mitzvah of wearing tzitzit but I was very hesitant about letting the non-Jewish world see me walking through the neighborhood with fringes hanging from my waist. I'd come along way during my yearlong spiritual journey but I didn't know if I was ready to take this step.
However, the words of Rabbi Vogel kept ringing in my ears. When I would whine about sitting in a Sukka while it rained, watching rain drops soak through my one piece of Challa, he'd smile and remind me that "No one ever said a Mitzvah had to be easy." While I could take soggy Challa, the thought of walking past my non-Jewish neighbors and co-workers with "stings" hanging down my waist was difficult to imagine. I felt like everyone would be looking at me and wondering what on earth I was wearing under my shirt.
Bolstered by the Rabbis' words I faced my fears and inhibitions, donned my Tallis Cotton, gathered the fringes together, looped them under my shirttails and let them hang freely from my waist. I have to admit the first time was very difficult. I was SOOOOOOO self-conscious. I felt like everyone in the world was looking at me at the same time. But you know what? No one was smirking and occasionally I'd even get a nod or a wink, a good Shabbos or on very rare occasions a thumbs up by some grandfatherly type who I'd passed on the street. I got the feeling that others actually admired the fact that I had chosen to don one of the garments of my ancestors and follow one of Hashem's commandments.
I wasn't the only one who decided to make this pledge. Two of my Chabad buddies decided to wear tzitzit on Shabbos as well. Whenever we would arrive at the Shul on Shabbos we would immediately look to see if the other had worn his as well. After a few weeks we began to feel a pride and an excitement that had been missing from our lives. We were fulfilling a mitzvah and setting an example for others at the same time.
As the weeks turned to months, we lost our inhibitions and wore our tzitzit like a badge of honor. But the story doesn't end there. My job takes me to our nations capital, Washington DC, three or four times a year. I work for a large newspaper company and our national headquarters is located in Washington.
Several months after my mitzvah pledge I was attending, of all things, a diversity conference. Newspaper employees from around the country had gathered together to discuss why a diverse employee work force is good for the ultimate success of the organization. The meeting just happened to fall on a Friday. I took the train from Wilmington, Delaware and arrived in Washington at 8:00 a.m. The meeting was scheduled to last until 4:00 p.m. If I made the 4:00 p.m. train I knew I could get back to Wilmington and just make it to Shul for the start of Shabbos services. One problem, I wouldn't have time to go home, thus there would be no time to put on my Tallis Cotton! I had two choices. Put it on in the morning and wear it to the meeting or forget it and not wear it to shul. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! It was one thing to wear my tzitzit with the guys at the Shul, around my neighborhood and occasionally to a friend’s home. It was a whole other thing to wear it to corporate headquarters, in front of the movers and shakers in my company.
Just as I made up mind to leave it in my top dresser drawer, I heard rabbi Vogel's voice calling out to me….."Shlomo Yakov, no one ever said a Mitzvah had to be easy." And you know he's right, no one ever did say a Mitzvah had to be easy. Yes it may rain in the Sukkah and get your Challa wet. And yes you may have to wear a Tallis Cotton to a business meeting and feel a little self-conscious. But the truth is, once you start to make compromises, it gets easier and easier to make bigger compromises the next time. If you make a promise to yourself and to Hashem that you are going to do something, then you can't just say "I'm sorry, I'd really like to keep that promise but …..its just not convenient to do so today."
So I took off my shirt, put the Tallis Cotton over my head, said the bracha, put my shirt back on, arranged the fringes just so and took off to meet my destiny.
My company headquarters is your typical high rise in the middle of a big city, 32 floors of concrete and glass that reaches into the sky. As I got out of the taxi I just stood in front of that building, alternating my gaze between the 32nd floor and the tzitzit hanging down from my waist. My feet just wouldn't move. The meting was scheduled to start in ten minutes. Finally I forced my feet to move, one in front of the other and I made my way through the front door.
More than 450 employees work at company headquarters and at any given time there are probably another 50 visitors in the place. I was convinced every one of them was looking at the fringes hanging down the side of my pants as I made my way to the 32nd floor.
When I walked into my meeting, I quickly took a seat. I stayed glued to that chair for a good two hours. I finally stated to feel comfortable when the meeting facilitator asked me to stand in front of the group and make a presentation about a training program I had recently conducted.
My mind screamed out, “No thank you, I am very happy where I am!” But my lips said….sure. When you're stressed out even the shortest walk in front of a crowd can seem like it takes forever. In this case it only seemed like it took an ETERNITY to get to the podium.
As I started to make my presentation I checked out everyone's body language and their eyes. Miracle of miracles, no one appeared to notice. Not an eye was focused on my tzitzit. No one appeared to even notice their was a 6'3" man standing in front of them with fringes hanging down the sides of his pants. They all appeared to be listening attentively to my words of wisdom.
I rambled on for the next 30 minutes, answered a few questions and then confidently and comfortably made my way back to my chair. "This wasn't so bad," I thought. "no one even noticed."
Several minutes later we took a break. A group of my friends were having coffee over in the corner of the room, so I moseyed over and joined them. One of my co-workers greeted me and then said, "Heh man, what's with the strings?"
This was my moment of truth. In a matter of seconds the Rabbi's words echoed in my brain, "Shlomo Yakov, no one ever said a mitzvah had to be easy." This was going to be one of those times. Rather than retreat from the moment I chose to embrace it. After all what better setting then a meeting on Diversity to discuss the ultimate aspect of Diversity?
For the next thirty minutes the brightest and the best, of the largest newspaper companies in the United States, spent quality time learning about tzitzit and why observant Jews wear them. It was a day I will never forget. I had faced my own fears and conquered them. I had tested my belief system and succeeded.
Later that day I walked out of that high rise confident that I could continue my spiritual journey, live as a more observant Jew and still build a career with a Fortune 500 company. I boarded my train and just made it back to Wilmington in time to welcome the “Shabbos Queen.”
Like my first Shabbos Kiddush just six months before, I know somewhere, somehow, Great Grandpa Charlie was proud!
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